8 replies to this topic

[DollyLamma]

Let's face it. There are many expats like me in Thailand who have come here to retire, relax and eventually die. It doesn't mean you don't have fun before the grim reaper arrives but I do wonder sometimes whether I have adequately planned for old age, if I become sick and require medical attention.

Thanks to a post on SF, I have discovered a place near Pattaya that describes itself as "serviced bungalows for mom and dad when they need a little help to get around." The source is quoted as saying the units are priced at 3M baht +. It's described as follows with some photos:

"Charming bungalows in beautiful garden surroundings. In Mabprachan Reservoir area, 20 minute drive to Pattaya or Jomtien.

One nurse per 2 bungalows, available 24 hours. Shuttle bus service to and from town (constant from 9 am to 7 pm) Doctor on site 7 days a week.

3 swimming pools, club house, restaurant (Thai and International), convenience store. Staff speak English, French, Japanese and Thai " http://www.spacepattaya.com/serviced_bungalows

If you are anything like me, you may wonder if that kind of place isn't worth investing in now, for the possible future, just in case. I'd be interested in some thoughts from other expats and posters who are getting old like me but wonder what happens down the road.

[paulg60]

I hope I am not getting old like you,hehehe but you appear to have your marbles still

Good link and thanks for mentioning the thread on SWF That is helpful as well

I wonder if you can live in the bungalow ahead of time. I have had a heart attack although minor, I am concious of the need to be close to medical attention.

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[This post was edited to delete the repetition of the previous post, something we discourage.]

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[luvthai]

I also have thought about the future and it boils down to how I would be able to handle the visa restrictions. Am I gonna be able to handle the paperwork or the trips abroads to meet requirements? What if there is a change in the requirements as has happened so often lately. Retirement is possibily the hardest of time's in ones life, slowing down and having to depend on others to make you happy. Maybe its just matter of popping a pill and ending it.

[francois]

I Retirement is possibily the hardest of time's in ones life, slowing down and having to depend on others to make you happy. Maybe its just matter of popping a pill and ending it.

Luvthai, do you speak of retirement or death? I am retired for 14 years and not slowing down or dependent on others. If anything I hope to speed up and squeeze a lot more out of life before the final countdown.
As for popping a pill that does seem a good idea when the time comes but not practical since when the time comes you are usually too frail or otherwise incapable of "doing" it.

[Sexpat]

As for popping a pill that does seem a good idea when the time comes but not practical since when the time comes you are usually too frail or otherwise incapable of "doing" it.

I agree. I don't think there's any way to anticipate now, when you are healthy and enjoying life, how you would react in a situation where you were terminally ill and suffering. The nightmare scenario for me is the idea that I may be mentally aware of my situation but not be able to do anything about it.

[Hedda]

The underlying premise of this thread seems to be the notion that we will all be facing old age and possible infirmity alone. I'm not sure that's the way things have to be, if you develop a close relationship with some fellow expats and with a younger Thai person as a reliable companion who should outlive you by many years under normal circumstances.

There is a lot said on these boards about the transient nature of Thai/Farang relationships, most of which is true. The average duration of liaisons where sex and money are the essential ingredients is usually weeks, not years.

It doesn't have to be that way if you are lucky enough to find a young Thai man who can be a trusted companion everywhere in life as you get old - not necessarily in your bed. In my experience, it's a lot easier to develop a reliable relationship if sex is not the essential glue in the partnership. You can always play the butterfly games when nature calls with willing strangers whose place in your life never outlives the orgasm.

For me, as I grow old, developing the right kind of relationship with a young man I trust as a friend and companion, not a paid sex toy, is infinitely more reassuring than the thought of having to rely on the kindness of strangers running the Maprachan version of "Shady Pines." Obviously, you have to have the finances to provide such a younger companion with enough personal support to keep his life happy and content too, now and after you are gone.

The big problem, of course, is finding the right young man to fill the bill. For me, the search to find the right companion to enjoy life has far more to offer than a search for the right place to die in.
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[mauRICE]

I saw this great bumper sticker the other day:

Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

[Hedda]

You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.

There is, of course, an undeniably selfish motive involved in picking a young companion to help you weather those last years. After all, isn't that why a lot of breeders used to have kids, to ensure there was someone around to take care of "the old man" in his dotage.

Since gay men frequently don't have those family assets to rely on in old age, especially expats living far from home, it's important to do the next best thing and create a young man to serve the same purpose. If, in the process, you provide for him a quality of life and degree of contentment he could never have achieved alone, who's to criticize the arrangement ?

[francois]

Well spoken Hedda. I could not agree more. Originally I had edited my post to include comments about my Thai friend but the edit did not post.

I have a long term relationship with a young Thai who I am counting on to support me as I grow older if , and when, I become a full time resident of Thailand. I assist him now with the intent that he will be there for me when I need help. He understands this and has told me so. And I have made provisions for him when I will not be here. For me it was good luck that I found someone I can trust.
There will be those who may say, "what a fool", but one must put his trust somewhere and I have no misgivings.