Like most expats or regular visitors to Pattaya, you tend to run into former boyfriends or tricks in places like bars or restaurants, in the company of their latest farang.
Depending on the history involved, it can be an unpleasant experience sitting in a dining room next to someone you used to know intimately, expecially if either of you is still carrying a torch or pocket lighter for the ex.
From the Thai angle, some boys try to pretend that they don't know you when they are in the company of another farang. That can lead to all sorts of furtive glances and exchange of hidden smiles between courses when the other guy is not looking or off to the toilet.
A few weeks ago, someone in our small dining party had the unfortunate experience of being seated right next to an empty table, which was promptly filled by a farang in the company of a handsome Thai man who just happens to my dinner companion's old "lover" of 2 years.
What happened next surprised me: my dinner companion rose from the table, said he felt ill and left the restaurant. I found him five minutes later sitting in a bar next door, saying he would meet us when we were done eating. Needless to say, the rest of dinner was rather subdued and awkward for the rest of us.
Frankly, I was disappointed in my dinner companion's performance. I found it immature and inconsiderate of everyone else at dinner. While I can understand the feelings that caused him to act that way, I think mature men should be able to control those kinds of emotions.
I didn't say a word to him about it, because we are not close friends. But now I wonder if I should have let it pass without some comment or attempt to help. He is obviously carrying a torch that is too hot to handle. But is it any of my business ?
0
Carrying the torch for an EX
Started by Expattaya, Oct 16 2006 11:44 AM
5 replies to this topic
#2
-
- Members
-
- 1,759 posts
Veteran
Posted 16 October 2006 - 12:10 PM
QUOTE
But now I wonder if I should have let it pass without some comment or attempt to help...But is it any of my business ?
Depends on who got stuck for paying for his share of the dinner.
Hehehe ......
#3
-
- Members
-
- 1,225 posts
Veteran
Posted 16 October 2006 - 12:41 PM
QUOTE
While I can understand the feelings that caused him to act that way, I think mature men should be able to control those kinds of emotions.
There is no fool like an old fool. Old gay men who get emotionally involved with a young Thai can act very foolishly, especiallly when they have no one to talk to about the situation. If it was me, I would ask him if he would like to talk about it. If he says no, then drop it.
#4
-
- Members
-
- 100 posts
Veteran
Posted 16 October 2006 - 01:21 PM
I wouldn't discuss it unless he decides to bring the subject up.
#5
-
- Members
-
- 339 posts
Veteran
Posted 16 October 2006 - 04:25 PM
"now I wonder if I should have let it pass without some comment or attempt to help. He is obviously carrying a torch that is too hot to handle. But is it any of my business ?" quote
Obviously, it is none of your business. He is hurting and you might offer to listen if and when he wants to talk about the situation. Other than that there is no way that I know of to help - just give it time.
You cannot know all that went on between them and are not in a position to judge if the guy who left the restaurant was acting reasonably or not. In a not dissimilar situation a friend of mine started hitting hit ex. We dragged them apart - he was very drunk. Then in the taxi home he was hitting on the taxi driver and this was in London.
Obviously, it is none of your business. He is hurting and you might offer to listen if and when he wants to talk about the situation. Other than that there is no way that I know of to help - just give it time.
You cannot know all that went on between them and are not in a position to judge if the guy who left the restaurant was acting reasonably or not. In a not dissimilar situation a friend of mine started hitting hit ex. We dragged them apart - he was very drunk. Then in the taxi home he was hitting on the taxi driver and this was in London.
#6
-
- Members
-
- 759 posts
Veteran
Posted 16 October 2006 - 06:10 PM
QUOTE
In a not dissimilar situation a friend of mine started hitting hit ex. We dragged them apart - he was very drunk. Then in the taxi home he was hitting on the taxi driver and this was in London.
How very un-British.
I had that happen to me a long time ago, in a restaurant in New York. I was having a business dinner with a very attractive woman at Le Cirque when my EX got seated across the room with one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen. I was livid with jealousy.
We spotted each other and both smiled. About 30 minutes later, I stopped at their table on the way to the rest room and my EX introduced me to his "new bf, Keith, a first-rate tennis pro."
I leaned over and whispered in his ear: "I'd introduce you to my new wife, but I don't want her to know about us with all the money that's involved."
I left him with a mouth open wide enough to catch a grapefruit. I don't think I'll ever forget that look.
