31 replies to this topic

[Prague]

I am very very sad. I got a telephone call from my boyfriend that he has been tested on my request for AIDS . He told me he tested negative and the doctor told him that he needs medication. I have such a bad luck with this boyfriend . A few weeks ago he killed a lady in a motorbike accident and now this again.
How can I ever make sex with him again. I have no H.I.V.
I feel so very very bad. What shall I do. I just sold my house yesterday here in Prague and I am on my way to start my new life with my b.f. in Thailand. Please advise.

[MonkeySee]

You have a lot of things going on in your life right now. Try and stay cool and calm and objective. I am not familiar with you and your boyfriend's history, but it sounds like you are at a crossroads in your life. Only you can assess the situation and only you should decide what to do. It is certainly possible for a HIV negative person to have a loving and sexual relationship with HIV positive boyfriend. It probably will not be easy, but very possible. If that is too much of a cross to endure, I don't think anybody would blame you if you decided to exit the relationship. Good luck to you.

[wpcoe]

Sorry if I'm confused, but you said: "He told me he tested negative and the doctor told him that he needs medication," but from the tone of your message I wonder if you meant he tested HIV+ (positive)?

[UncleSam]

How can I ever make sex with him again.

Put on a condom . . . . and stay off his motorbike.

Hehehe.....

[Gaybutton]

I am very very sad. I got a telephone call from my boyfriend that he has been tested on my request for AIDS . He told me he tested negative and the doctor told him that he needs medication. I have such a bad luck with this boyfriend . A few weeks ago he killed a lady in a motorbike accident and now this again.
How can I ever make sex with him again. I have no H.I.V.
I feel so very very bad. What shall I do. I just sold my house yesterday here in Prague and I am on my way to start my new life with my b.f. in Thailand. Please advise.

Assuming you meant that he is HIV+, I don't see too much of a problem. Anyone you have sex with could be HIV+ and that's why it is always recommended to use safer sex procedures. People come to Thailand all the time, have safer sex sexual encounters with bar boys, and go back home in perfect health. If you are going to be involved with a sexual relationship with him, then the two of you, together, should see a doctor and make sure you understand exactly what you can and cannot do safely.

You should also have him tested again. There have been many instances when tests yielded HIV+ results, and subsequent tests showed that it was a false reading. Who knows? Maybe you will be lucky.

In Pattaya, make an appointment with Dr. Philippe, who specializes in this very sort of thing. He will know how to provide treatment for him, and will be able to discuss safer sex with the two of you. Dr. Philippe is supported by Heartt 2000.

However, if this person really is HIV+, then how did that happen? If I remember correctly, you had said your relationship with him is monogamous. Is that correct? Assuming you are HIV-, then he had to get the disease from someone else. That doesn't sound like a monogamous relationship and it doesn't seem like he was practicing safe sex. This is a person who was a motorcycle taxi driver, and yet had neither a license nor insurance. Now you are saying he is also HIV+. This is the person you sold your home for and intend to live with the rest of your life? Would you advise someone else to do that? Do you actually trust this guy?

Nothing personal since I know neither of you, but this person seems to be awfully irresponsible to me and Lord only knows what else you will discover about him once you are living here with him. I think you are making a terrible mistake and you would be far better off finding someone else. I know you won't do that, but I have a feeling that in six months or less you will wish you did. I also have a feeling you already know you are making a terrible mistake, but you are allowing your emotions to make the decisions for you even though you know you should just get rid of this guy. I think you are feeling trapped and don't know how to get out of this, but if you could find a way to do it that you can live with, then you would get out of it. I hope for your sake that you do, while you still can.

From what you have written about him, it seems that he is bad news and if you stick with him then you're in for a lifetime of problem after problem and a lot of misery that he will cause you. He won't stop. Why should he? You seem to be willing to bail him out of his troubles every time he gets into trouble and I have a feeling you are going to continue bailing him out, at least while you still have money enough to do it. He'll tell you all about how sorry he is and he'll promise never again do anything wrong. I wonder how many times you'll listen to that before you wise up and tell him to get lost.

I know how you feel. I have been through it too, more than once. I learned the hard way. When it is obvious that you're stuck with someone who is nothing but trouble, then you either have to get rid of him or be prepared to live with these kinds of problems virtually all the time.

I'm sorry for being so blunt about it, but I've heard the basic story you're telling so many different times from so many different people that I would be willing to bet anything that you're allowing yourself to fall right into the same kind of trap and it's going to happen to you too unless you refuse to have anything further to do with him.

[Khor tose]

Pardon me, but I am finding Prague's whole story to be somewhat unbelievable. I just dont buy it. For one thing it is never easy to get out of Marakesh to anywhere (Prague part I) and he got out of Morocco and into Thailand in one or two days and that is not my experience with travel inside Morocco.
Gaybutton you are giving great advice, but I think this man is playing all of us for dummies. A world traveler and a gay man that is this naive. I just dont buy it and will pass on reading anymore of his tales.

[Gaybutton]

Pardon me, but I am finding Prague's whole story to be somewhat unbelievable. I just dont buy it. For one thing it is never easy to get out of Marakesh to anywhere (Prague part I) and he got out of Morocco and into Thailand in one or two days and that is not my experience with travel inside Morocco.
Gaybutton you are giving great advice, but I think this man is playing all of us for dummies. A world traveler and a gay man that is this naive. I just dont buy it and will pass on reading anymore of his tales.

The thought that this is all a bunch of BS had not occurred to me. You could very well be right, but why would he play a game like that? I'm not quite ready to assume his stories are lies only because I've seen too many "farang" get themselves into problems that are much more ridiculously absurd than his stories are.

I think I may have missed something, though. You said that he is talking about getting out of Marrakesh, but he wrote, "I just sold my house yesterday here in Prague." How does Marrakesh fit into that? I don't understand.

Actually, now that you brought up the idea that this might all be something made up, the writing style is very similar to what "Loeploh and Nalac" writes. Not that I have any reason to think that they are one and the same, and I am not making any accusations, but we haven't seen anything from "Loeploh and Nalac" lately (thank goodness) and now Prague makes an appearance with a set of goofy stories written in the same manner. That thought did at least cross my mind.

If his stories are true, then maybe some of the responses will make an impact on him. If it is all just made up, then maybe someone else may see some of himself in these stories and the responses will be a wake up call before it is too late.

One thing is certain . . . there is no fool like an old fool. There is also no fool like a damned fool.

[Khor tose]

Darn I wasnt going to follow this thread anymore, but when I saw your post I decided to check. He had an earlier series of msgs called just "help from Prague" where his boy friend killed someone and he is in Morrocco and returns to Thailand almost overnight. Cant be done that fast from from marrakech. Not as fast as he got here. Check the time line. The escalation of disasters the whole thing stinks to me

[Haloi]

I went to check on the first post too.

There was almost 27 hours passed between the first post from Morocco and the next one from Thailand. He says he flew via Spain, which I suppose is a likely connection from Morocco to Bangkok.

Who knows who is who on the internet ! You would be amazed at the way disasters can escalate in Thailand, especially when money is involved.

[gwm4asian]

If you are doubting the veracity of the Morocco angle, then you could ask a moderator to check the IP address from which the posts were made (i presume that they are logged like most boards). Unless he is using international dial up or complicated address spoofing then the country of origin should be easily identifiable for each post.

[Mod1]

Sorry, but moderators are not authorized by the Administrator to reveal any information that would breach the anonymity or privacy of posters under any circumstances.

That would include disclosing the location from which posts are made, assuming we can determine that from the IP information included in every post. It's part of the price we all pay for total anonymity.

[Prague]

Yes it was difficult to go from Marroco to Bangkok but it can be done.

I know my b.f. for some time and he has never been tested. Could it be possible that he got the h.i.v. virus before he knew me.

I love my b.f. and I am not going to drop him in a split second . I am going to help him.

[Naughty but Nice]

you could ask a moderator to check the IP address from which the posts were made (i presume that they are logged like most boards). Unless he is using international dial up or complicated address spoofing then the country of origin should be easily identifiable for each post.

With so many people now using services such as Anonymizer which conceals the true IP address and replaces it with one of its own it is never possible to fully verify the originating IP.

When I use a service such as Anononymizer and send a test Email the IP address is often traceable back to either the USA or Europe and on one occasion Moscow, whilst all of the time I was safely ensconsed in Bangkok

[Gaybutton]

I don't think it really matters whether the posts originate from Marrakesh, Prague, or Saturn. I also don't think it really matters whether the story is true or not. What matters, in my opinion, is how one ought to deal with this sort of situation. This kind of story easily applies to more than just one "farang." You can bet on that. If the story is true and Prague's responses are true, then he is choosing to let his emotions, rather than common sense and intelligence, make his decisions for him and he will have to live with the consequences of his decisions.

The thing that puzzles me more than anything is the fact that he posted his story, is apparently seeking our help, but won't listen to anything other than what he was hoping to hear. The chances of this working out positively for him, or anyone else caught in this kind of trap, are virtually nil, but he has to make his own decisions. You can't help someone who doesn't want any help. I think he posted these messages, assuming the problem is real, in hopes of everyone telling him that he is doing the right thing. I wish he was doing the right thing, but it is obvious to just about everyone but him that he is doing exactly what he shouldn't do. If nothing else, he can't say we didn't warn him.

One question he asked was, "Could it be possible that he got the h.i.v. virus before he knew me?" It depends on how long you've known him. From what I understand, the average amount of time that goes by from initial HIV infection until symptoms first appear is eight years. But that has nothing to do with detection of the presence of the virus. The virus can be detected within weeks of initial infection. I don't think anyone, including him, knows yet when he first was infected. It could have been weeks ago. It could have been years ago.

[Prague]

Thanks for the reply's Its good to know that there are posters who like to answer my questions.
However I feel a little sad about some advises and comments which were made on this topic.
I have the feeling that some posters who are living in Thailand see the Thai boys in general as con artists.
I don't know why . Is it because they have been or are treated very badly by their boyfriend(s) ?
I don't see any reasons to advise me in such a negative way as some of you did.
My boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident and killed somebody and it wasn't his fault.
My boyfriend ( 26 years old) has the h.i.v. virus and there is no proof that he has been cheating me with other sex partners. He could have got this virus many years ago.
Why do posters judge so easy about my relation with my boyfriend.
I don't understand.

[Gaybutton]

Thanks for the reply's Its good to know that there are posters who like to answer my questions.
However I feel a little sad about some advises and comments which were made on this topic.
I have the feeling that some posters who are living in Thailand see the Thai boys in general as con artists.
I don't know why . Is it because they have been or are treated very badly by their boyfriend(s) ?
I don't see any reasons to advise me in such a negative way as some of you did.
My boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident and killed somebody and it wasn't his fault.
My boyfriend ( 26 years old) has the h.i.v. virus and there is no proof that he has been cheating me with other sex partners. He could have got this virus many years ago.
Why do posters judge so easy about my relation with my boyfriend.
I don't understand.

I'll try to help you understand. First, nobody said he is a con artist. I am saying he is completely irresponsible. Whether the accident was his fault or not, he was working as a motorcycle taxi driver with no license and no insurance. Second, if he has the HIV virus, then it is highly that he was not practicing safer sex.

Now he wants you to help him open a business, and he knows absolutely nothing about running a business. That is almost a guarantee of failure. You have already been advised not to do that, but to place him in a business school and make sure he learns what he is doing first.

It's your life and your money. Unfortunately the odds are very strong that you'll end up losing most, if not all, of your money and this person will be a constant source of problems that will plague your life. As I said, you have to make your own decisions, but you were warned as to what is most likely going to happen. I wish you good luck. You're going to need it.

[Snowy]

Thanks for the reply's Its good to know that there are posters who like to answer my questions.
However I feel a little sad about some advises and comments which were made on this topic.
I have the feeling that some posters who are living in Thailand see the Thai boys in general as con artists.
I don't know why . Is it because they have been or are treated very badly by their boyfriend(s) ?
I don't see any reasons to advise me in such a negative way as some of you did.
My boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident and killed somebody and it wasn't his fault.
My boyfriend ( 26 years old) has the h.i.v. virus and there is no proof that he has been cheating me with other sex partners. He could have got this virus many years ago.
Why do posters judge so easy about my relation with my boyfriend.
I don't understand.

If you can't accept at face value the opinions and observations of people (probably more experienced than you on these matters), why the hell did you ask for advice in the first place.

It is quite obvious to me that the only advice you wanted to hear was that which confirmed what you wanted to hear.

You are probably one of those guys who blame everyone else when things go wrong, even after having received advice not to follow a particular course of action.

You may be lucky and the guy will turn out to genuine but don't blame us if he takes you for every penny/cent you have and then moves on to some other poor sucker, leaving you poorer but hopefully a lot wiser..

[francois]

I don't understand.

As I wrote before, you don't understand because you are stupid!
Most likely Praque's post is a hoax. I hope so since no one could be this dumb.

[Gaybutton]

I hope so since no one could be this dumb.

You would be surprised at how dumb people can be, especially when they're doing their thinking with their emotions, their crotch, or a combination of the two. It almost seems as if Prague is going to continue his relationship with this loser because he's afraid the guy will cry if he breaks it off.

Prague, try to place yourself in our position. Let's assume you are telling us the complete truth and your story really is for real. Suppose someone else told you the same story you are telling us. Would you really advise the person to stay with the boy and continue the relationship? Because if that is what you would do, then remind me never to seek advice from you.

I believe you are an intelligent, honest, sincere person, but I also believe you are acting entirely on wishful thinking and you are convinced that there will be no more serious problems and you are going to be happy with this person the rest of your life. It is virtually guaranteed that it will not happen that way. It is also virtually guaranteed that you will find yourself in serious difficulties within six months, and probably much sooner than that. When the day comes that you stop giving this person money, that will be the end of the relationship.

There is one way to find out what your chances are. First, tell him that you are willing to make the down payment on his new motorcycle, but he has to pay the rest of it himself every month until it is paid off and he is not to ask you for even one baht more to help pay for it. Tell him you will not even help with the down payment unless he first obtains a motorcycle driver's license and insures the new motorcycle. Second, tell him that you are not willing to set him up in business unless he attends a business school first and does well with it. If he readily agrees, then there is a chance. Not much of a chance, but a chance. If he hesitates, balks, or tries to make some sort of a compromise, then you will know he is only going to continue his irresponsible behavior and make your life miserable.

I also agree with Snowy. If you already knew what you are going to do, then why did you come to this board for advice? Everyone who is trying to give you advice is trying to tell you that you are making a mistake by staying with this person. Maybe you ought to consider heeding the advice being given.

[Hedda]

I'm not sure who is being more foolish: the guy who asks strangers to advise him on a matter where only he knows the facts and feelings involved; or the strangers who get irritated when the guy has the temerity to disregard their advice and do what he thinks is best.

Our dear Prague is obviously smitten by the boy, regardless of the perils that seem to follow his Pauline around. One does not fly half way around the world to rescue someone in distress, the way he apparently did, and then act like a dispassionate accountant in weighing the options.

If it's all a hoax, and what on the internet related to sex or love isn't these days, then it's been an entertaining one. I almost hope it is a hoax, so that poor Prague can wake, as if from a bad dream, and start enjoying life again.

[Prague]

My lover tested positive for the h.i.v. virus and he is suddenly a looser and I should get rid of him soon as possible.

I will ask doctor Philip what he thinks about this comment.



quote:You would be surprised at how dumb people can be, especially when they're doing their thinking with their emotions, their crotch, or a combination of the two

Maybe you also would be surprised to meet people with their brains and hearth on the right place. Somebody like me !


quote:
I'm not sure who is being more foolish: the guy who asks strangers to advise him on a matter where only he knows the facts and feelings involved; or the strangers who get irritated when the guy has the temerity to disregard their advice and do what he thinks is best.


I would say people who are making such a direspectfull comments towards my b.f. and me and Thai gay boys in general and people who seems to know always everything better. Even if they do not know facts figures and feelings.

Do any of you posters know how many Thai boys have the H.I.V. virus and got involved in an motorbike accident ?

Would you real like to know ?

I think you wouldn't like to live in Thailand anymore .

Yeh they are all loosers.

[Gaybutton]

Once again you have not addressed the basic question. If you do not want to listen to our advice, then why do you ask for it? Can't you see that when everyone is giving you the same advice, but you want to do the opposite, that the person most likely to be making a big mistake is you?

Are you going to address the other questions, such as insisting on a driver's license and insurance before helping him buy another motorbike? Are you going to make him pay the monthly payments on it? Are you going to have him attend a business school and learn how to run a business before you invest in it? Are you going to do anything to make him live up to his responsibilities?

I have changed my opinion. I no longer think your boyfriend is a loser. I think, if you go through with this without following the advice with which people are trying to help you, then the real loser is going to be you. You have become very defensive of this person when it is perfectly obvious to everyone trying to help you that you are setting yourself up for disaster. None of us have anything personal against this boyfriend of yours. We don't know him and we don't know you. However, we do know through years of observation what can, and will, happen.

I think the people who have posted on this thread have sincerely tried their best to reach you. I can see now that we will not succeed. I am not going to reply to any more of your posts. If your previous post is going to be the way you respond to people trying to help you, help you asked us to provide, then it has been a waste of time and effort. You have been warned as to what will happen. Remember where you heard it first. Good luck . . .

[Prague]

Well I am going to do it my way if you don't mind. If you are so childish not to reply to any of my posts anymore its up to you. I think this is a board for discussions and I see things in a different way as you. I just try to open your eyes and you are trying to open mine. Whats wrong with that.

Now it would be nice if somebody could help me out on this one.

Boyfriend is asking how much money I will send to his mother on a monthly base.
Mother is very poor and she works for a rice farmer in Roi Et. I agree with him that when he is living with me comfortable we should also take care of mama.
How much should I pay ?

[francois]

Gaybutton, your advice and wisdom is quite remarkable, but as the Bible say, it is like "casting pearls before swine"! Anyway, as Hedda writes, Praque's post has been entertaining. No doubt Praque, himself, is enjoying every response generated by his fairy tale.

[Snowy]

Boyfriend is asking how much money I will send to his mother on a monthly base.
Mother is very poor and she works for a rice farmer in Roi Et. I agree with him that when he is living with me comfortable we should also take care of mama.
How much should I pay ?

Why are you asking such a question when you obviously will not accept advice even though you have asked for it?

First it was 100,000 Baht to pay for the victim of a motor bike accident which your b/f caused.
Next he wanted you to buy him another motor bike.
Next he wanted you to set up a business for him.
Then he dropped the bombshell that he is HIV+.
Now he is asking how much money you are going to send to mama each month.
(I suspect the next demand for money will be to buy another buffalo because the present one is old and sick!! Either that or it will be money to either improve/enlarge or even build a new house for mama).

This whole tale of woe surely can't be true and is all a make believe scenario to generate comments on theoretical situations. Alternatively it is all part of one big confidence trick.

Why on earth are you now asking how much you should pay mama a month when you have demonstrated previously that you take no heed of the advice others have given you?

The more you write about this b/f and his demands the more it is obvious that it is one big fairy tale or that you are the victim of one great big scam.

Dump him now before he bleeds you dry. If you can't take this advice at least stop asking any more questions about what you should do when you obviously have no intention of taking the advice given.

Enough is enough !