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[DOLLY]

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Navy Chief to new seaman: "Get over here! What's your name sailor?"

"John," the new seaman replied.

"Look, I don't know what kind of pansy crap they're teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don't call anyone by his first name," the chief scowled. "It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, whatever. "Now that we've got that straight, what's your last name?"

The seaman sighed. "Darling, My name is John Darling, Chief."

"Okay, John, here's what I want you to do ..."

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[mauRICE]

The sailor on the right can oil my engines anytime.